5 Red Flags For Parents & Ways To Respond To Online Radicalization
If you listened to the last episode of The Suburban Women Problem, you might be feeling a bit overwhelmed with this growing problem. The Khalifa Ihler Institute hopes this article will offer clarity from trusted experts in this space who are also parents and grapple with the same challenges. We hope collective expertise and lived experiences will be put to good use.
The rise of online radicalization has significantly increased during the pandemic. Amidst wave after wave of uncertainty, adults and children flock to online spaces, seeking solace, answers, and community. Extremist recruiters understand these needs and use them to exploit and groom minors by mimicking community and care. This is how many young boys come to embrace ideology they would not have otherwise. Some people may say concerns about extremism are part of the liberal indoctrination of children to restrict free speech. For this reason, it’s important for parents to remember that bad faith actors don’t make the entirety of the internet bad. There are many genuinely wholesome and supportive online spaces where communities can thrive. And you can have that while also remaining vigilant against extremist threats. As one analyst has told her children, “Until you are 18, you are under my care, and your privacy is less important than your safety.” Now, this being said, vigilance does not mean hypervigilance. You do not have to absorb the sense of urgency of these threats and impose extremely restrictive measures. There are ways to be mindful of red flags and recruitment tactics without hardening into the position of not trusting your children. One of our colleagues, who is also a parent, wrote, “I find it incredibly important to trust that [my children] will make proper choices and gently guide them when they don’t.” This is an excellent perspective to have as you navigate these resources.
It's important to remember that context is everything. Our team member Molly made a point that I think is absolutely 100% on point: Not everything on the internet is bad, and even some of the bad stuff isn't necessarily a cause for concern.
That being said, here are some red flags to be aware of from C. L. Murray, a parent and our co-author on Khalifa Ihler’s Report on Proud Boys for the January 6th Select Committee.
1 - Idolizing Murderers
Of primary concern is an obsession with mass shooters/murderers, particularly those with whom the young boy may identify. Obviously, there are different types of obsession: I'm obsessed with mass shooters and always was, but in a "these guys are assholes" sort of way. I'm talking about a fawning type of obsession, treating them as an "anti-hero", speaking of them as though they were expressing righteous anger. I would be especially concerned if they focused on folks like the Columbine shooters and Luka Magnotta especially if they focus more on body count and fame rather than causes and impacts. I'd be more worried about folks focusing on how famous the Columbine kids are and what kind of gun they bought than I would be the ones reading about the individuals' life history.
2 - Extreme Desenzitizing Media
Another red flag is regularly seeking out material that features desensitization to violence and/or advocacy of violence. This one, in particular, requires a lot of additional context before you should be worried. I'm not talking about horror movies with good special effects here. I mean the harder stuff: Gore and violent pornography.
People may view materials that could be perceived as "desensitizing", but that may not be why they're viewing that material. Research on people who view gore imagery shows there are many different reasons for doing so. Some do it out of morbid curiosity or fear of mortality. Some frequent viewers work in fields where they see lots of gore, so they seek out connections with others desensitized through necessity or to learn (i.e., there's a subreddit dedicated to medical gore called "medizzy" that medical students and doctors frequent). The problematic individuals are the ones who view this content in a"shitposting" kind of way. They view it to show how tough they are, desensitising themselves and other community members, and making jokes at others' expense. This is what we often refer to as "chan culture."
The Highland Park shooter provides a grim example of this. The shooter was active on a gore forum called "Documenting Reality". DR is one of the oldest gore forums online, and his use easily falls into the latter category. His posts focused on dehumanizing individuals and making jokes. More important than the content was the frequency of his jokes. He didn't just make shitty jokes occasionally...he did it ALL the time.
In addition to gore media, another thing to be concerned about in terms of desensitization is a preoccupation with violent pornography.
3 - Sudden Interest in Guns/Explosives
In and of itself, being interested in gun culture isn't necessarily a huge red flag. If you live in a rural area, and your kid has grown up hunting or makes friends with folks who are really into hunting, that's not necessarily bad. However, if the interest is sudden and not tied to socializing with others, hunting, or sports, and comes from a place of self-defence or the imperative to protect against others, then I'd be very worried. Stockpiling weapons is a huge red flag, but body armour is an even bigger deal.
4 - Secretive and/or Violent Emotional Crises
However, one of the biggest factors has nothing to do with what they're searching online. It's about their own personal experiences with emotional crises. Parents must be mindful of any behaviour that shows dramatic personality changes, especially if it's coupled with increasing agitation, paranoia, and isolation. Losing friends, breaking up with someone...this is stuff that everyone deals with. However, I would be VERY worried if their response is intense anger, followed by isolating themselves from friends/family and a dramatic shift to living their lives online (video games, social media) but in an intensely private way (like [a teammate] said: They are secretive about it).
5 - Engaging in Violent Behaviour
Getting in fights, bullying siblings or pets, etc. is another problem to be aware of.
Additional Resources
From the Radicalization Awareness Network
Preventing Youth Radicalization: Building Resilient, Inclusive Communities. This guide from PERIL and SPLC helps parents and caregivers understand how extremists are exploiting this time of unrest by targeting children and young adults with propaganda.
Parents for Peace is just one many organizations established in recent years to address the challenge of violent extremism.
See the list below for a compilation by Parents for Peace of more resources and information you may find helpful:
Inkblot Project Toolkit– Guide created by Inkblot with input from Parents for Peace providing insight on how to help a friend you believe may be at risk of radicalization.
CPRLV– Montreal’s Centre for the Prevention of Radicalization Leading to Violence offers tools that can be useful for families and community members.
Crisis Text Line – 24/7 anonymous text line where people get can support from trained crisis counselors.
Program on Extremism– A leading research center at George Washington University producing reports and analysis on extremism in the U.S and abroad.
Freedom of Mind Resource Center – A consulting and coaching service that helps families reconnect with estranged loved ones and assists people caught up in cults.
Connectfutures – A UK based organization engaged in developing a range of programs to build resilience to extremist thought in young people.
“People Against Violent Extremism” – A grassroots Australian non-profit working to counter extremism, including through short educational films.
Serve2Unite– A creative service learning project for students inspired by PFP members Arno, a former violent extremist, and Pardeep, a survivor of violent extremism.
International Cultic Studies Association– Resources for concerns about cult involvement that may also be helpful for concerns about extremist groups.
Mothers for Life– A global alliance of mothers who have experienced violent jihadist radicalization in their own families.
Theory of Enchantment – provides educators with a world-class social-emotional learning program (SEL) that integrates pop culture with developmental psychology.
EXIT-Germany– An initiative assisting individuals who want to leave extreme right-wing movements and start a new life.
“Sisters Against Violent Extremism” – A global network based in Austria that provides women with the tools to challenge extremist thinking and terrorism.
Extreme Dialogue– Videos and multimedia educational resources spotlighting the lives of former extremists.
Additional Homework, For the Overachieving Parents
I imagine due diligence is a big part of your success as parents and in your careers. Let’s apply some of your tenacity to tackling new extremist threats. On the last episode of The Suburban Women Problem, Parenting Against Extremism, we mentioned a leaked style guide for The Daily Stormer, a notorious neo nazi publication. In it, a white supremacist explains how he uses irony and satire to poison the minds of young online users and make violence and dehumanization more palatable. Journal Prompts For Encountering This Guide
Did learning about these tactics help shift your perspective on irony and satire as a potential recruitment tactic? If yes, in what ways?
What was the most surprising use of satire/irony and cryptofascism you noticed?
We hope these tools will help you make the most informed decisions for your child’s emotional and social well-being. By doing this, you help support our mission to build peaceful and thriving communities. We hope this will prompt further observations, insights, and discussion. For more about C.L. 's work, listen to her recent appearance on WHQR to discuss Proud Boys, irony and jokes the group has used to evade detection and accountability.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.